So……another night gone by. After tossing restlessly for hours I decided to call it quits and forego the whole idea of sleeping. Haven’t had to deal with insomnia for a while now. And I have a gut feeling that its back to plague my nights again.
After two and a half hours of watching US open live scores, for the evasive chance of cheering for my country in tennis; sneaking downstairs for watching US open hoping that they would be showing Aisam’s match; finding out that they arnt and shifting between the rest of the matches and ‘Tehzeeb’; getting tired of the television and resorting to my room……………..; I am finally back ranting the night away on a medium that probably no one chooses to read. But who cares about all that. Writing all this down helps me put my thoughts together. And I still don’t see any sleep coming tonight.

I wonder today:

• About what God thinks of me; knowing that nothing of mine is hidden to Him.
• About how many people think good of me and how many think nothing but ill; and to how many more am I not important enough to matter.
• About what the next year holds for me; and whether I will get out of it what I have yearned for.
• About how many times I have deceived myself; while justifying things by my self contained logic and moral system.
• About whether I have become a slave of an image I have in my mind or have really remained true to myself.
• About how difficult I can be.
• About whether I will remain an idealist ten years from now and still follow my dreams.

I think of all these things and many more on this regular summer night.